| i think now would be an approprite time to sigh __
i know, its stupid for me to complain ... but i cant take it anymore. everyone is so fucking fake. and they all think theyre so "hardcore". im seriously fed up with it all. and then, to top it all off, every single friend that i had (out of school) is no longer my friend, because mike told everyone that i was a "crack head drug addict" ... but then again, arent we all? but i have to protest, i am no crack head, nor a drug addict. but, i supose its situations like this that truley show you who is your true friend. and through it all-- sera jane has stuck it out with me. i love you for that jane, or should i say sera jane. and then, i have to deal with immature kid drama at school. im so tired of the whole scene. like, everyone is so concerned with what everyone else thinks of them, and they all care so much about "who likes who", seriously people, grow up and get a life. i mean, i have to stop myself for a second, only because i ask people who they like -- only so i can tell them who i like, to get the word to him. yeah, i know how the system works...you tell people, knowing that the boy will find out soon enough. im not too stupid-- but then again, i supose i might be, because i cant even tell him that i like him. hmph, i get nervous. and i am never nervous around guys. i supose this one's different, i just dont see how. and then home; parents dont trust me, but whats new. moms constantly nagging me about stupid crap. dad...well, i dont have much to say about that man...he's got anger problems, we'll leave it at that. and...yo add onto my on going trauma-- i have to worry about possibly moving and going to highschool in fremont. oh great, fremont all over again. i supose it might be nice there. but old friends and old memories still lurk around those parts of town. you must understand, the life of tiffany is never easy. its on going anger,rage and depression -- paused by a few moments of joy,love and confidence.
eerh. ignorant people -- today, a boy came up to me in at safeway and goes, "can i get your number so you can teach me how to be punk" .. since when am i "punk" !?...i dont get it. because i wear all stars,dont shower or brush my hair,because my belt happens t have studs on it...that causes you to lable me? or is it because i listen to a certain kind of music? thats bullshit. i dont appreciate it people. you think it flatters me when you lable me like im some sort of property? hah, think again. please, so next time you come up to me to say something about "hardcoreness", stop and re-phrase your sentence. there's more to me than bands, my guitar and the color of my nail polish. so, if i threw on some high heels, a mini skirt, a skimpy tube top and some hoppy earrings...would you change your lable? once again, thats bullshit. there is no larger insult that anyone could ever say to me that that of labeling. you simpley can not describe a person in one word. please people.
i was starting to feel better, but there is so much more to my situation, so much more that i cant put into words. mmh, if only there was a way to upload your brain and feelings onto the computer <3.
xtiffany. |
